By Father Paul Keller, C.M.F.|
Are you living in sin? The answer to that question is “Yes”—we are all
living in sin. We are all sinners. We all live in a world that forces us
to deal with the consequences of our own sins and the sins of others.
However, the phrase “living in sin” has traditionally been applied to
couples who live together without being validly married. This phrase has
normally been applied to: 1) Couples who are living together but are
not married, 2) Catholics who are civilly married, but not married in
the Catholic Church, and 3) Catholics who, after being married in the
church, have divorced and remarried civilly (although anyone, not just a
Catholic, who is divorced and remarried would fall into this same
category). Of course, it is not sinful to merely live with someone else.
In order for these couples to be “living in sin,” they must be sexually
intimate.
Last October in Rome, the Extraordinary General Assembly of the Synod
of Bishops on the Family took place. During this synod some bishops
suggested the church drop the use of language such as “living in sin,”
“intrinsically disordered,” and “contraceptive mentality.” The final
report from this synod, which also serves as the working document for
the Ordinary Synod to take place this October, does call for a critical
examination of the language the church uses when addressing the people
who would normally have these terms applied to them. Many of those
critical of this idea see it as a cowardly concession to political
correctness. However, there are good reasons to drop this kind of
language.
First of all, this phrase is used inconsistently. As I previously noted, we are all “living in sin.” We are all
sinners. To apply a phrase like this to only one kind of human
behavior, as if others are not also “living in sin,” is an arbitrary and
deceptive misrepresentation of people’s circumstances and the reality
of sin. For example, are not those who fail to care for the poor also
living in sin? Why should we apply this phrase to only one kind of
misbehavior? The church is not fairly representing all the complexities
of any relationship when it focuses on only one aspect of that
relationship (i.e., sexual intimacy outside of a valid marriage), as
important as this aspect might be, and tells the couple they are “living
in sin.”
The church loses credibility because most people know couples who are
not married in the church. The experience of these couples is that they
can be committed, prayerful, generous, loving, and kind to each other,
to their children, and to others. It sounds insulting, dismissive, and
inaccurate when the church labels these couples as merely
“living in sin.” Identifying sinful aspects of any (or all)
relationships is very different than claiming that there is only one
significant aspect of the relationship, or that the entirety of the
relationship can be fairly categorized as only sinful, which is what this phrase seems to imply.
Do you know what Catholics used to call Protestants? Heretics.
Technically speaking, according to Catholic teaching, Protestants are
still heretics. However, when was the last time you heard your priest or
bishop use that term to refer to Protestants? There was a big shift
during the Second Vatican Council. In the decree from Vatican II on
ecumenism, Unitatis Redintegratio (1964), the church began
referring to Protestants as “brothers [and sisters] in the Lord” or
“separated brothers [and sisters].” Notice the difference? Without
changing doctrine, the church changed its language. The church
recognized that the term heretic, with all its associated
emotions and images, was not an adequate or appropriate description for
our Protestant brothers and sisters. The church recognized that using a
word that comes across as an insult is not a fitting way for members of
the Body of Christ to speak. As the psalmist pointed out, it is God’s
will that truth and kindness must always accompany one another (Ps.
85:10). Truth without kindness can be arrogant and cruel. Kindness
without truth can be cowardly and cruel. Both are ineffective when it
comes to proclaiming the gospel. It is not enough to only proclaim
truth; it is absolutely essential to make sure that our proclamation of
the truth is wrapped in the language and reality of loving kindness.
Just as the Catholic Church has changed the language it uses concerning
our Protestant brothers and sisters in the Lord, the church should also
change the language it uses concerning couples whose relationships fail
to symbolize the fullness of marriage. It is time to recognize the
reality that holiness and sin coexist in the life of every human person and in every human relationship. Language that obscures that truth should be abandoned. It is time for kindness and truth to meet.
This column appeared in the August 2015 issue of U.S. Catholic (Vol. 80, No. 8, pages 37–38).
Published:
Thursday, July 30, 2015
USCatholic
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